Written Confessions
by EgoXrs
Summary: What would happen if Tsuna took a long and deep look into Gokudera's hidden emotions? thatwasabadsummary Oneshot with 2 chapters. REVIEWS ARE APPRECIATED TO DEATH!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

_'What did just happen...?'_

Some snowflakes started falling around them, landing quietly on the already white ground. There was an uncomfortable stillness in everything but the sky, forcing the two Guardians to feel even more embarrassed than they already were. The empty playground was overpowered by their silence and the trees that surrounded them encouraged their reasonable bashfulness.

_'Did he really just kiss me?'_

The Tenth boss of the Vongola Family had frozen with his right hand softly touching his lower lip while the Italian boy had riveted his gaze on the ground, wondering how the hell he could be so stupid as to misinterpret the situation. Somehow their heads had gotten really close to each other while discussing about Valentine's Day and chocolates (and how much Gokudera detested them) that the smoke bomber had mistakenly perceived this as the green light for him to make a move. How could he be so reckless?

"I-I'm sorry Jyuudaime!"

Finally after a while the Storm Guardian bowed his head and broke their uncomfortable silence.

"I... I shouldn't have done that, I'm terribly sorry!"

He repeated as he fell on his knees and started smacking his head on the icy ground; that unfortunately being a daily sight.

"D-don't do that Gokudera-kun!"

Despite Tsuna's bewilderment with the unexpected kiss he had received, there was no way he'd let his Guardian hurt himself.

"I'm really sorry Jyuudaime!"

Gokudera followed his boss's request (not wanting to upset him even more) and as he stood up he kept his gaze on the ground, unable to make eye contact with him.

"But w... Why would you do that Gokudera-kun?"

Tsuna asked, an indication of disappointment echoing in his voice.

"U-uh... For fun Jyuudaime...! It was a joke!"

The Italian boy rubbed his temple, hoping that his easily perceivable anxiety wasn't conspicuous; hoping that his secret thoughts and emotions weren't visible to the other...

_'It wasn't a joke...'_

The brunette thought silently, feeling an unexplainable heavy burden on his chest.

"I'm sure Jyuudaime will receive lots of chocolate tomorrow!"

Gokudera suddenly exclaimed, desiring to move on to another topic as soon as possible.

"A-ah, I doubt it Gokudera-kun..."

Tsuna murmured as his heart accelerated at the smoke bomber's loud voice; the second's desire of changing the subject being quite obvious.

"We should be heading back now Gokudera-kun."

The Sky Guardian uttered with a fake smile drawn on his face and the silver haired boy just nodded affirmatively in return, causing their small walk in the neighborhood -because their classes had finished sooner than expected- to come to an end.

While they started walking home, the brunette thought that he had never felt so confused and troubled before in his life. Not even the fact that he'd be the boss of a whole mafia family could cause him such bemusement. His first peck on the lips was just stolen in the easiest and simplest way by the person he'd least expect it... His _male_ best friend, his right hand man... Was this for real?

Suddenly, as the two boys were heading towards Tsuna's house (since Gokudera had insisted that an enemy could show up in the brunette's way if he wasn't accompanied by any of his Guardians) a strong wind blew towards their side, forcing all the snowflakes to follow its course, resulting in one of them getting into the Sky Guardian's eye.

Tsuna's low moan of pain, along with his hands that started rubbing his eye were enough for Gokudera to rapidly place his body in front of the first, moving his back against the wind and facing straightforwardly the brunette.

"Jyuudaime are you okay?"

He asked worriedly as he softly touched Tsuna's cheeks, enclosing the gap from where more snowflakes could damage his boss's eyes.

"A-ah, it itches..."

Tsuna, who was more focused on his aching eye and hadn't clearly understood Gokudera's movement, suddenly gazed into the Storm Guardian's orbs, realizing how close their faces were again.

"W-what are you doing Gokudera-kun?"

He finally asked hesitantly and flushed as he felt the other's gloves on his cheeks.

"I'm protecting your eyes Jyuudaime! Wuaah, your left eye is weeping!"

The panic in Gokudera's eyes made Tsuna giggle.

"It's okay Gokudera-kun, how could you- ah!"

The Vongola boss moaned again and closed his eyelids tightly, sensing that a foreign substance had entered his eye.

"Shit! Jyuudaime are you okay? ?"

The smoke bomber repeated terrified but the other boy couldn't open his eyes anymore.

"S-something must have entered my eye..."

He spelled with difficulty and tried to remove it by rubbing it even more, unsuccessfully.

"A-ah, I think I know how to remove it Jyuudaime!"

"M-my eye? !"

Tsuna asked terrified.

"N-no, not your eye Jyuudaime!"

Gokudera widened his eyes at the other's misunderstanding.

"The debris! If you could just try to open your eye a bit, I will expel air into it and then you only have to rub it in a certain way and the debris will go away."

"I really doubt that this method works Gokudera-kun..."

The Sky Guardian responded with a sigh, not being so optimistic about it.

"We can try it Jyuudaime!"

The Italian boy said hopeful and since there was nothing else they could do at that moment, Tsuna agreed to it.

The brunette tried and with great difficulty managed to open his left eyelid just a bit, waiting for Gokudera to make his move. The smoke bomber took a deep breath and as he shortened the distance between their heads, holding firmly and gently his classmate's cheeks, he breathed out the air from his system, directing it into Tsuna's sore eye.

The brunette flinched at the annoying sensation in his eye and then closed it slowly as Gokudera requested him to do. Then the Storm Guardian softly rubbed in a circular manner the skin next to Tsuna's eye, forcing the debris to slide at the corner of it. Finally the Italian boy caressed with the back side of his finger his companion's eye, as to remove the foreign substance.

"How are you feeling now Jyuudaime?"

He asked almost in undertones. The brunette quietly opened his eye and shocked he realized that it didn't ache anymore.

"Hm, it's much better now... Thank you Gokudera-kun!"

Tsuna smiled to him and Gokudera stared into his orbs for a while, as if he was trying to spell something without the need of words and then hurriedly removed his hands from his face and bowed shyly.

"No need to thank me Jyuudaime! I'm glad you're feeling better."

With these words they continued their silent route towards the Sky Guardian's house.

... ... ...

"Ah, Tsu-kun you're home! Hello Gokudera-kun!"

"Mum?"

The brunette uttered confused as he saw his mother greeting him while exiting their house. Gokudera bowed with respect towards his boss's mother.

"I have to go and buy some things from the store but I won't be late. Does your friend want to stay here until I get back? The neighborhood has gotten so dangerous lately..."

Nana spelled her concern and before Tsuna was able to say _'Gokudera-kun was leaving now'_ the Storm Guardian hurriedly replied in his place.

"Of course! I will protect Jyuudaime at all costs!"

The woman cheerfully smiled at Gokudera's exclamation.

"Hm, then I have nothing to worry about! Be good kids, ne?"

She carefree said and then left towards her destination.

Even though the Vongola boss didn't want his classmate to leave, he was actually a bit bothered by the second's initiative to stay as there had been many times that Gokudera had hastily made the first step without letting the brunette interfere in decisions that should be made entirely by him. However his annoyance faded away when he saw the bright smile on the Italian boy's face the moment they entered his bedroom. The smoke bomber was always happy being with Tsuna even though their conversations didn't consist of anything crucial -or even battle related. The Sky Guardian softly smiled at this realization.

"What would you like to do Jyuudaime?"

Gokudera asked as if he could read Tsuna's mind.

"Hm, I don't know Gokudera-kun..."

The brunette sighed skeptical. The only homework they had were a few verbal theories that Tsuna had to memorize but he knew that it'd be a waste of time if he bothered Gokudera with that. Memorizing theories was something that he had to do on his own and his friend wouldn't be able to help him.

"G-Gokudera-kun, um..."

The Vongola boss spelled hesitantly as they both sat on the floor, next to each other.

"About earlier... the kiss..."

Tsuna's timid words and uncertain gaze seemed to have a great effect on the other as the smoke bomber riveted his orbs away from his classmate's stare.

"It was just a joke Jyuudaime...!"

Gokudera faked a smile and tried to think of any other subject to talk about.

"But it wasn't Gokudera-kun! You... Why would you do this?"

The brunette's doubtful voice had increased in confidence and his stare was much stronger than he intended it to be.

_'Because your existence means more to me than you could ever comprehend...'_

"It was... It was just an action out of respect Jyuudaime."

The higher Tsuna's tone was, the lower Gokudera's voice became as if they were unconsciously trying to balance things out.

"An action out of respect?"

The Sky Guardian asked confused.

"A-ah Jyuudaime. An action out of respect!"

The beam on the Italian boy's face appeared anything but truthful to the young brunette.

"I see..."

Tsuna's disconcerted expression forced an awful burden on his Guardian's heart.

"I... I'm really sorry if you got disgusted by it Jyuudaime!"

Gokudera lowered his head embarrassed and regretful and the other student softly spelled a response, as if he was afraid of breaking the letters.

"I... I didn't get disgusted by it Gokudera-kun..."

_'...In fact the opposite...'_

The smoke bomber's eyes were instantly fixed on his boss's fragile gaze.

"I just... want you to be honest."

The brunette continued, making the reason of his annoyance obvious since all he wanted to hear was the truth.

A moment of silence passed by, both boys being completely still, engulfed in their own worries and apprehensions. Gokudera was pondering of whether his mischievous feelings should ever be voiced out loud while Tsuna was staring on the floor anxious, wondering if he had actually pressured his friend beyond his limits, hence he was unable to react to his request of being honest.

"It's an emotion Jyuudaime."

The Storm Guardian's unexpected words startled the brunette.

"Eh?"

He asked perplexed and as he raised his head both of them made eye contact.

"I said that it's an emotion. U-um... The kiss..."

Tsuna continued staring at the other baffled while listening to him, making Gokudera have contradicting emotions, wondering whether his boss's reaction was good or bad.

"What's the name of this emotion Gokudera-kun?"

_'I'm so selfish...'_

The Sky Guardian had realized everything he needed to know, yet...

...The Vongola boss really wanted to hear it... These words that seemed to be forbidden at times, these words that could change someone's entire life... Tsuna had never examined the emotions between him and his right hand man as the second had always been by his side, whether they were fighting in life-or-death battles or even in his everyday life, while he was waiting for the boring lessons to end. He had never considered Gokudera's loyalty and passion to mean anything more than that.

"A... amore..."

The smoke bomber finally pronounced hesitantly.

"Amore?"

The brunette gazed at him perplexed.

"What does it mean Gokudera-kun?"

He continued.

"L... Love..."

The Italian boy whispered as he riveted his gaze away from his boss, his face colored bright red.

_'He said it...'_

The Sky Guardian thought in a daze and a soft smile was unconsciously drawn on his lips.

"I'm sorry..."

Gokudera lifelessly said without looking at him, causing Tsuna's smile to fade away.

"These feelings... I shouldn't - ... I'm sorry Jyuudaime..."

"Don't apologize Gokudera-kun."

_'It's me who should be apologizing... I should have realized your feelings towards me.'_

The brunette guiltily deemed and softly placed his right hand upon the other's with great diffidence.

"I-it's okay..."

The Vongola boss's trembling voice was accompanied by the vivid red color on his cheeks.

"I don't mind..."

He almost whispered while looking away, wondering if this was really a proper reaction towards someone who had just confessed to him.

"J... Jyuudaime..."

However, Gokudera didn't seem satisfied with Tsuna's movement and gently pulled his own hand away.

"I know how kind you are, but you shouldn't pretend in front of me... I can understand if you're feeling disgusted by it, it's completely normal."

The smoke bomber wore a painful smile on his face but Tsuna could feel his inner suffering as if this torture was meant for him instead of his loyal Guardian.

"No Gokudera-kun! I'm being honest with you, I didn't get disg-"

"It's okay Jyuudaime...! I can understand if you want to punish me!"

The Italian boy bowed his head in front of his friend.

"P-punish you? ! There's no way I'd do something like that Gokudera-kun! You are my frie-"

"It's normal if you want to Jyuudaime! What I did is disgusting after all... Do as you wish with me Jyuudaime!"

All of a sudden the brunette, whose rage had been accumulated due to Gokudera's absurd behavior, extended his hands behind the second's head and as he pulled the Storm Guardian towards his side, he sloppily gave a quick peck on the edge of his lips. Tsuna then immediately pulled his hands back and grabbed a random book from the school bag that lied next to him, not really minding whose bag it was or which book he was holding, just as long as he didn't have to face what he had just done. Gokudera who had received a great shock from his boss's unexpected action, was standing still and dazed, staring at the brunette's face bewildered.

"J... Jyuudaime..."

The smoke bomber spelled timidly but Tsuna wasn't willing to respond. In fact, he seemed rather focused on reading the random page on which he had opened the book; his orbs slowly moving back and forth.

"A-ah!"

A loud shout escaped the Storm Guardian's lips as he noticed which of his books his friend was holding. Japanese History... The one lesson that allowed him to freely write down whatever he felt at that moment since the teacher never paid any attention to what the students were doing or how their books' physical condition was.

"J-Jyuudaime!"

The silver haired boy moved rapidly and grasped the book from his boss's hands, leaving the latter utterly surprised and somewhat apprehensive.

"You... you shouldn't read what's written in this book Jyuudaime..."

Gokudera said softly as he realized that he had scared the fragile brunette and closed immediately the book.

"G-Gokudera-kun..."

Tsuna mumbled abashed and stared into the older student's eyes as if they were both surrounded by gloom.

The Storm Guardian felt truly regretful for not realizing what book Tsuna was holding in his hands from the beginning. There were so many things he had written in those pages... Emotions and thoughts no one else knew about.

Gokudera's heart skipped a few beats while thinking of what the Vongola boss had read that had stunned him in such a degree as to make him stay speechless for so long.

_'Could it be something about my father...?'_

He wondered distressed as his most violent nature was emerging every time his father violated his thoughts... As if his letters turned into poison, he was filling the book's pages with merciless and deviant words.

_'...or is it something about him?'_

One question after another, Gokudera could no longer choose what could be worst.

The young bomber abruptly remembered the devastation that had overpowered his mind when he had learned about his boss's death in the future. His whole life had ended right before his eyes; everything he believed in seemed meaningless for a few seconds until he realized that he could still change the future... They could still change it. Yet this intense depression didn't leave his side until they returned to the past and he finally managed to write down all his thoughts and sentiments about it. Sometimes writing was the only way he could forget and ease his pain.

"I'm sorry Gokudera-kun..."

Tsuna's sudden statement startled the troubled boy.

"For what Jyuudaime? Did you read anything weird?"

Gokudera asked agitated.

"I'm sorry..."

The brunette whispered, abruptly wrapped his arms around his Guardian's waist and rapidly buried his head in the latter's chest.

"J-Jyud...!"

"I'm sorry for not knowing Gokudera-kun...! I'm sorry for not... not realizing..."

_'Shit, he must have read something horrible...!'_

The Italian boy couldn't help but panic as tears started running down his boss's face. He couldn't precisely understand what exactly the latter had read but whatever it was, it shouldn't cause so much pain to him...

"I-it's okay J-Jyuudaime! D... Don't take the things written in the book seriously...!"

The Storm Guardian stuttered, his own statement hurting his chest and softly placed his hands around the other's body.

"D-don't cry..."

Gokudera was trying his best to soothe his precious friend's mind but Tsuna wasn't able to stop his struggle.

"Please Jyuudaime..."

The smoke bomber's voice smoothed even more and as if he was trying to stop a baby from crying, he bent over and softly kissed the Vongola boss's temple.

"G... Gokudera-kun..."

The brunette managed to utter while sobbing and his grip around the Italian boy's waist got even tighter.

"It's okay Jyuudaime... Just... don't cry pleas.. e..."

Gokudera strived to finish his sentence and the Sky Guardian could hear him softly weeping.

_'Shit fuck shit fuck...!'_

The young bomber was cursing his luck and wiped his tears on his sleeve, without letting go of his precious friend.

"G-Gokudera-kun...?"

Tsuna asked confused as he raised his head from the other's chest and timidly pulled his hands away from Gokudera's body. The Vongola boss exerted himself to stop crying and as the Storm Guardian pulled his hands back as well, they were finally both shyly gazing in each other's teary eyes.

"I-I'm sorry Jyuudaime!"

Gokudera yelled as he lowered his head.

"I didn't want to sadden y-"

"I am the one who's sorry Gokudera-kun!"

Tsuna interrupted the smoke bomber.

"I... I should have realized some things earlier..."

_'I was blind for so long...'_

The brunette riveted his gaze on the ground as he brought the text he had read along with Gokudera's kiss to mind.

"I should have known about your feelings...!"

His voice came out louder than he wanted it to and with a flush colored on his cheeks, Tsuna stared deep into his friend's emerald eyes.

"I'm sorry Gokudera-kun..."

He repeated like a broken record and the Italian boy couldn't help but feel remorseful for making his boss feel that way.

"N-no Jyuudaime... It's not your fault..."

Gokudera almost whispered his final words, being a bit distrustful at his own talking.

"I... I just didn't want you to know Jyuudaime..."

A fake smile was drawn on his face, trying to persuade his classmate that he was being sincere... Trying to convince himself that he was telling the truth.

"You're lying Gokudera-kun..."

Tsuna's sentence came out with no hesitation, his Vongola instinct finally coming to the surface.

"I've been a horrible friend..."

"Don't say that Jyuudaime!"

Gokudera shouted in response to his boss's painful murmur. He could neither accept these words nor let the brunette be overwhelmed by this unreasonable defeat.

"I... I never let you see through me Jyuudaime... So it's normal for you to not kn-"

"Don't try to justify this...! P.. Please Gokudera-kun... Even though I had heard about your past from Reborn... I... I never thought... I couldn't even estimate...! All this pain... All this sadness..."

A sudden burden was added on the Italian boy's chest. What had Tsuna really read in his book...? If it wasn't something about his love towards him... If it wasn't something about the days they have spent together... If it wasn't even about his own father... Could it be - ...?

"Jyuudaime... What- uh... What exactly did you read...?"

The smoke bomber asked uncertain, afraid of what the answer may be.

"A... About your mum Gokudera-kun..."

A few seconds of silence passed by while the silver haired student was struggling to quell all these forceful emotions that were trying to overpower him and the brunette was striving to hold in the tears that started reforming in his eyes.

"Aaah... That was it? You shouldn't worry Jyuudaime! I wasn't serious when writing these things, it was just nonsense for the time to pass...!"

The Storm Guardian said with a wide smile drawn on his lips and his last words were uttered with his eyelids closed, not wanting to let his boss gaze at his watery eyes.

"It's okay Gokudera-kun... You don't have to lie..."

The Vongola boss murmured gently, sensing that his friend was about to burst into tears.

"What are you talking about Jyuudaime? I wouldn't lie to you...! A-ah -..."

Two tears violently escaped Gokudera's eyes, making the smoke bomber stand up rapidly and start heading towards the exit of the room...

"I-I'm sorry Jyuudaime, I'll need to use the restr- ..."

"W-wait Gokudera-kun...!"

...only to be stopped by his boss.

"Let me through Jyuudaime!"

The Italian boy swiftly voiced his request, with his one hand rubbing both of his eyes and trying to pass through Tsuna, who was now standing in front of his room's door, not letting him escape the situation.

"I'm your friend Gokudera-kun! You don't need to endure all this pain on your own...!"

Tsuna's voice had transformed to sweet poison for the other.

"P-please Jyuudaime, let me through!"

Gokudera couldn't help his stuttering and no matter how hard he was pushing the other, for some reason the Sky Guardian seemed to surpass his strength, rendering the first unable from leaving. The smoke bomber knew that his treatment towards his boss was too rough but his pride was so strong that he just _couldn't_ let the young brunette see him having a breakdown.

"No Gokudera-kun...! I want to help you!"

Tsuna, who was unconsciously wondering how he was able to exceed his Guardian's strength, had mightily decided that he wasn't going to let the latter suffer on his own ever again.

"Please Jyuudaime, if you don't move I won't be able to - ..."

"You can cry here if you want to Gokudera-kun...! I will nev-"

Tsuna wasn't able to complete his sentence as Gokudera's lips were suddenly placed on his own...

The smoke bomber wasn't able to resist anymore and lustfully succumbed to the only source of comfort he could find at that moment... The Italian boy could sense the fallacy of his actions in every inch of his body, yet he really couldn't help himself. For the second time in a row he was acting recklessly, based merely on his feelings... Based on his last hope for rescue.

The Sky Guardian had widened his eyes in shock as Gokudera wrapped tightly his hands around his waist. The few inches of gap that was found in between Tsuna's lips were easily taken advantage of by the older boy's tongue that smoothly slipped in the other's mouth.

_'I must resist...'_

No matter the words that were repeated in Gokudera's mind, letting go of his boss seemed impossible. As if someone had glued their faces together, the more Tsuna was stepping back, the more Gokudera was moving forward.

All of a sudden a thump was heard and the brunette's back had become the corridor wall's surface. Tsuna, who was sloppily moving his tongue as to make the other take his away, was now pinned on the wall, unable to protest; all of his strength was gone in a flash.

Eventually, after a couple more torturing seconds for Tsuna, Gokudera backed down a bit in order to breathe and the Sky Guardian took his chance and escaped the Italian boy's suffocating embrace.

"Fuck...!"

The smoke bomber yelled outraged, realizing that he had just forced himself on his boss and as he turned his gaze towards the latter, he bowed once again.

"I-I'm terribly sorry J-Jyuudaime! !"

He shouted and a painful sob escaped from his lips.

"I'm really sorry! I need to - ..."

Before he had even finished his sentence, the Storm Guardian grabbed his bag from Tsuna's room and ran like a chased person towards the house's exit.

"Tsu-kun, I'm bac- Ah, Gokudera-k -"

"I'm sorry, I'll be leaving now!"

Tsuna's mother came just in time and thankfully for the proud bomber, she hadn't managed to watch his tears.

"Tsu-kun...?"

Nana repeated surprised as she saw her son descending the stairs confounded; Gokudera having long left his house.

"Mum, you returned..."

He pushed a smile on his lips.

"What happened? Did you and Gokudera-kun get into a fight?"

Tsuna wondered whether being honest to her was an option.

"H-hm... But it will be okay..."

Another fake smile accompanied his doubtful words.

_'Everything is going to be okay... Right?'_

He joylessly reckoned and lifelessly returned to his room.

* * *

**A/N: There will be only one more chapter. I wanted this to be a one shot but it turned out bigger than expected. Pure fluffy 5927 love; it's been ages since I last wrote a story like that...**


	2. Chapter 2 Final

Chapter 2

The time was six am and the young Sky Guardian was still awake. At first he couldn't understand whether it was his own luck's doing or the smoke bomber's misfortune but when the latter had left running from Tsuna's home the previous day, he had forgotten to take his so important book with him.

The brunette didn't waste any time and without even considering the fact that the following day he would be verbally examined by the teachers, he opened Japan's History on the first page and started reading ceaselessly. In every page, in any place where some free blank space could be found, Gokudera took the liberty and filled it in with the voices that filled in his heart and mind... Fear, anger, anxiety, sadness, love... All of them were present in this confession book and the brunette couldn't stop feeling this horrible burden on his chest.

Tsuna's eyes were dry and he could weep no more, but he ought to admit that never before in his life had he cried for such a long time and so intensely... The Vongola boss could imagine his friend suffocating, yet for so long Tsuna stood next to him, mistakenly believing that he had figured him out.

_'I wonder if Reborn knows about all of these...'_

He wondered skeptical since he had realized that Reborn knew way too much about anyone who had ever crossed his way.

_'This is the last written page.'_

He pondered and as he noticed that the sky had brightened up enough, he turned off his cellphone (which he was using as a light), stood up from the bed and sat on his desk where the sun's rays emitted freely.

_'Oh, it's bigger than the other ones...'_

He slowly placed the book on his desk as to not wake up his mother and before he read Gokudera's words, he first took a look at the remaining pages of the book.

There were still a couple of pages left but the Italian boy hadn't written anything in them. Tsuna thought that if his loyal Guardian had his book in his hands right now, maybe he would have filled the rest of them... He believed that yesterday's intense connection between them would have forced more words out of him, resulting in this book being just another filled journal.

_'It's about... me.'_

He deemed rather depressed as he read the first words in the page: _Dear Jyuudaime_. Even though it looked like a letter Tsuna knew that there wasn't any possibility his friend would have actually given it to him.

_'Dear Jyuudaime,_

_I am truly debating on whether I should give this letter to you. Valentine's Day is in two days and even though this celebration never meant anything to me, lately I've noticed that this day has started twisting my thoughts...'_

"Was he going to give this to me as a Valentine's gift...?"

He whispered surprised but didn't stop reading.

_'I think it's stupid... how a day like this can force even more intensity in our emotions. As if hiding something so disgusting wasn't enough... Now I have to be burdened with the merciless feeling of emptiness every time someone confesses to the one they love._

_Love... What's really love Jyuudaime...? How would you be able to describe it? Have you ever felt it before...?_

_I don't know if you have... It seems we're avoiding discussing about the things we hide in our hearts. But it's normal after all, isn't it? It's our gender's given rule. Do not be weak, do not cry, do not fall in love with another of the same gender..._

_My statement may sound truly selfish but I'm afraid you are the one who made me sin to all..._

_Dear Jyuudaime..._

_I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you... With all my might... With all my heart... This sentiment is so strong that my body becomes weak each time you're standing too close and my eyes become watery every moment I'm thinking of the wrongness in it... in this love._

_I'm afraid Jyuudaime... I really am afraid. I'm afraid of losing you, I'm afraid of confessing, I'm afraid of you rejecting me. Sometimes I'm even afraid of admitting I'm afraid... It's funny how paranoid an unrequited love can make someone. But can it really be called unrequited love when you don't have the slightest idea about it? Ah, I'm such a coward..._

_Dear Jyuudaime..._

_Your mere existence in my heart is the second best thing that's ever happened in my life. You've offered me so many positive emotions throughout all the days we've spent together that I can't help but timidly wonder... How long will this last? How long will you be able to put up with my reckless actions and how much longer will I manage to stifle all my natural instincts towards you...?_

_I suppose... This letter will never reach your hands. Just like my words of passion that will never go through your heart, just like my forceful tears which will never appear in front of your eyes... This letter will stay hidden. Just like my love._

_Dear Jyuudaime..._

_I can't risk losing you... I can't risk making you sad... I can't risk making you mad... I can't risk... For this risk would be even greater than risking my own life._

_Dear Jyuudaime... I wish..._

_I wish I'd be able to make you feel all the emotions that you make me feel. I wish I'd be able to make you see all the things that you make me see... I wish I'd be able to talk to you via the beats of my heart and let you know how beautiful this love is..._

_But the pain..._

_I wish you'll never have to suffer this way... I wish you'll never..._

_Never know about my love._

_Never know and never hurt the way I do..._

_Always be happy Jyuudaime... See all the things that you want to see and live all the things you desire to live..._

_Always be happy..._

_And never know about this pain.'_

By the time the Sky Guardian had finished reading Gokudera's confession letter, he had to quickly return to his bed and hide under the covers, trying his best to silence his forceful sobs. This letter was the most emotionally powerful amongst everything else Tsuna had read that he had no other choice but be overpowered by the violent eruption of negative feelings within him.

_'Am I absolved for being so blind? ?'_

The Vongola boss thought irritated and depressed, seeing as to how easily Gokudera condoned his naiveness, only to be even more in love with him and even more in pain for his sake.

_'Who would not want their beloved one to know about their feelings so that they'd be happy? ?'_

He angrily grabbed the bed's sheets and clinched them tightly in his hands, trying to restrain his unbearable suffocation.

_'Gokudera-kun... is stupid!'_

He thought frustrated and as he was stifling his painful moans, he hoped from the bottom of his heart that Gokudera would show up in school for they really had something important to talk about...

Tsuna knew that there was a high possibility that the smoke bomber wouldn't appear in order to avoid making him even sadder, but he was also aware of the fact that the Storm Guardian hadn't managed to properly explain himself the previous day and he definitely wouldn't be able to forget everything that happened without giving a proper explanation to the brunette... Without voicing an appropriate lie.

_'Today... '_

Tsuna thought determined.

_'...There will be no more lies... No more masks...'_

He continued and popped his head out of the covers.

_'Today he'll tell me everything he needs to... And I will respond honestly without avoiding the truth...'_

As if he was influenced with the Dying Will Flame, Tsuna's words seemed to be his solemn resolution.

...

The young boy jerked as soon as he heard the alarm clock ringing. He had hardly slept for twenty minutes and his mind was still filled with Gokudera's written words of despair. The sound of the birds chirping sounded unreal to him, still feeling like it was night time and the sun that was trying to wake him up made him feel like someone was holding a flashlight to his face.

_'Am I really the stimulus for Gokudera-kun to open his eyes in the morning...?'_

The Sky Guardian wondered rather dazed, recalling one of his friend's poems and stood up while yawning in order to get ready for school.

In a really short time the young boy had been prepared for what was about to follow and without any further delay (and quite early actually) he was on his way towards school, his feet moving fast towards his destination.

_'I hope Gokudera-kun will come to school...'_

Tsuna was repeating in his mind, completely forgetting for a while about the homework he had abandoned and the scolding he'd receive from the teachers.

_'If he wants his book back, he better show up...!'_

A frown had appeared in between the brunette's eyebrows as if he wanted to shout to his friend for his foolish egoistic attributes.

_'Feeling all this pain alone... Hiding such torturing thoughts...'_

The more upset the Sky Guardian became, the faster his body was moving.

_'If only he knew how much I car-'_

"Hieeek! H-Hibari-san?"

A squeal escaped from his lips, looking terrified at the head of the Disciplinary Committee who stood outside of the school's gate.

"Wao... Is it a special day for herbivores today? Another one arrived early..."

Hibari mumbled intrigued and then turned his gaze elsewhere, indicating that his and Tsuna's conversation had already ended.

_'Ah, I wonder if he's talking about Yamamoto... Maybe he wanted to practice again at this time.'_

The Vongola boss silently asked himself and quickly entered the building, sighing relieved for he wasn't beaten to death.

Eventually, Tsuna reached his classroom and left his school bag on his desk but as time passed by and none of his classmates seemed to be eager enough to show up so early, he decided to climb up the building's upper floor and take a look at how empty the school's rooftop would be without his friends.

Slowly the young student headed upwards and as soon as he reached the rooftop's door he quietly popped his head out cautiously in case a superior would be enjoying the morning view.

_'He... He's here...'_

The surprised brunette discreetly gazed at the Italian boy while the latter was puffing his cigarette and hadn't noticed his presence.

_'He seems tired...'_

Tsuna reckoned, intensely staring at the other's facial characteristics that showed nothing but fatigue.

_'I wonder if I should...'_

His contemplation was violently interrupted by Gokudera's piercing eyes as the second finally noticed Tsuna's timid appearance.

"J-Jyuudaime!"

The silver haired boy stood up in an instant, rapidly threw his cigar on the floor and as he approached the other he bowed his head respectfully.

"Good morning Jyuudaime!"

He yelled like a little solder and the brunette reassuringly realized that his friend hadn't noticed that he was standing there for a while.

"Good morning Gokudera-kun."

The Sky Guardian spelled rather dejected, seeing as to how the smoke bomber intended on acting like nothing had happened the previous day.

"How did you sleep Jyuudaime?"

An uncomfortable moment of silence was broken by the bomber's typical, yet somehow pushed words.

"Gokudera-kun... About yesterday..."

The Vongola boss purposely left his sentence unfinished, wanting to see how Gokudera would respond to that.

"I'm terribly sorry Jyuudaime! I shouldn't have acted so absurdly and unnaturally."

The Italian boy had lowered his head once more and his loud voice echoed in the empty rooftop.

_'As I expected...'_

The other student thought as he knew that his friend didn't intend on truly discussing yesterday's events.

"You didn't act unnaturally Gokudera-kun."

A sympathetic smile accompanied the Sky Guardian's words as he quietly approached his friend even more.

"You shouldn't apologize for that."

He continued and stopped his steps as soon as their bodies were only a breath away, bringing the Italian boy in an uncomfortable position.

"W... what are you saying Jyuudaime...? Two men kis-"

"I don't think it's unnatural!"

The brunette abruptly raised his voice and then stared on the ground embarrassed.

"I don't think it's wrong..."

The timid student murmured softly, his brown orbs meeting with the other's emerald eyes and an uneasy stillness following his words.

Despite the strong wind that was trying to force letters out of them, both had stayed completely numb, being terrified for this unfamiliar situation they were in. Gokudera was afraid of misinterpreting his boss's words once more, while the second was apprehensive of whether he was being too forward for the bomber to follow.

_'I need to say it all...'_

The Sky Guardian could feel his emotions struggling to come to the surface and before Gokudera managed to give him a response, the brunette knew he had to continue talking.

"I never thought of you as nothing else but a friend Gokudera-kun. I was..."

He paused for a second, shameful for this reality.

"I was too oblivious to understand your feelings..."

His statement added an enormous burden on his chest.

"But in the end I always knew you'd be by my side. I always knew I'd have your support no matter the decisions I made. I knew you'd be there for me Gokudera-kun... And I'm thankful for that."

One sentence after another quickly lifted that burden from his body.

"I believe that my punishment for ignoring what was right in front of me, is that now I know of all the feelings you were hiding for so long... Now I know of all the sad and agonizing things that exist in your heart."

Tsuna said almost decisively but Gokudera didn't allow him to continue.

"Did you read the book?"

The silver haired boy asked in a flash, overwhelmed by even the idea of his beloved classmate reading through all these painful pages he had colored with his soul.

"I..."

Tsuna spelled hesitantly, his eyes narrowed.

"I'm sorry Gokudera-kun... I knew I shouldn't..."

A lie escaped the brunette's mouth while trying to stifle his guilt.

The Vongola boss didn't really think that he should have not read what was in that book. In fact, not even once had this thought cross through his head because as soon as he read the first confession, he knew... He knew that Gokudera was hiding so many things, always avoiding to face any emotion other than anger... At that moment Tsuna had realized that the smoke bomber was denying all along sharing anything with him and the others and he knew that he had to be aware... He had to be cognizant of all these painful desires and emotions and embrace them as his own.

_'That's what he'd do for me anyway...'_

The younger boy silently thought.

A few mute seconds were needed for both of them to gather their thoughts. Tsuna was apprehensively but determined looking in the other's eyes while Gokudera was quietly contemplating and cursing his own self for forgetting the book in his boss's house. The smoke bomber would never under any circumstances cause any kind of suffering to the brunette but now, out of his own stupidity and forgetfulness, the Sky Guardian had read and tasted from first hand the Italian boy's unbearable torment.

"I'm sorry Jyuudaime... I shouldn't have left th-"

"No Gokudera-kun, stop apologizing!"

Tsuna's loud voice was rather surprising for both of them.

"I... I don't want you to apologize Gokudera-kun. I just want you to be honest with me... Stop hiding all these feelings and bad memories you think of everyday..."

His voice was steady and calmer as if his dying will flame was controlling the way words escaped from his lips.

"And don't hide..."

Tsuna's tone was suddenly low.

"...your emotions towards me."

He softly spelled and could feel his cheeks burning.

Gokudera had stayed silent for a while, realizing that there was no escape from the current situation. His apologies had no value and his plastic smile wasn't going to fool his boss this time. In fact, the more he was trying to find a way to avoid voicing the truth, the more his thoughts became blurry and his emotions overwhelming, leaving him with no other choice but to let his heart finally take the course of his actions.

"You are right Jyuudaime, I shouldn't hide such things from you but I find no reason as to why my torment should be known to you."

His sentence came out so naturally as if he had memorized letters from a book.

"I... I know you Jyuudaime. I know that my suffering will drag you in this nightmare as well and the last thing I want is for you to be sad. But since now you know..."

He paused hesitantly only to lower his gaze ashamed.

"You know that I l-love you... You know how I feel about you... Since you know, please understand the reason why I never talked to you about any of this..."

The Italian boy finally built up the courage to stare in the other's eyes once more and continued.

"Moreover, whenever I'm with you everything else seems meaningless... Whenever I'm thinking of you all my pain disappears. You are my redemption Jyuudaime and I thought talking to you about my problems would only foul your innocence..."

The Storm Guardian's statements, one after another, felt like a broken glass that was sweetly carving through Tsuna's heart. The brunette was trying to comprehend Gokudera's honest words and even though his friend's sadness had made him feel completely broken, that one sentence the smoke bomber had uttered transformed Tsuna's pain to some sort of twisted relief and happiness.

_'His redemption...'_

The Vongola boss reckoned, overwhelmed by the other's intimacy and an unexpected gentle smile was drawn on his lips.

"I think you are my redemption too Gokudera-kun."

Tsuna spelled completely certain of that statement.

"Whenever you're around, you actually make me forget about all the bad things too... Even though my bad memories and thoughts can't be compared to your pain, you relieve me from all of it."

The Sky Guardian happily expressed his realization and Gokudera's wide eyes had somehow affirmed to Tsuna that from now on his classmate's pain wasn't going to be so powerful.

"W... Would it be okay if I kissed you Jyuudaime...?"

Gokudera's sudden question agitated the Vongola boss.

"U-uh... S-someone may see us Gokudera-kun..."

Tsuna responded full of uncertainty and looked around as he didn't really expect that kind of straightforward reaction from his friend.

"But I can't find the proper words to express my gratitude right now Jyuudaime..."

The brunette noticed that Gokudera's words sounded rather shaky and as he stared in his eyes, he realized that the Italian student was hardly restraining himself from crying.

"I-if Hibari-sa-"

"I'll blow up anyone who dares to interrupt us."

Gokudera gently cupped the brunette's chin.

"B-but if Yamam-"

"I love you Jyuudaime..."

The smoke bomber whispered before softly landing his lips on the other's face.

A few birds were heard flying around and the school's loud bell made Tsuna instantly jerk, only to be comforted by Gokudera's left hand that he quietly wrapped around the first's body. The Sky Guardian didn't really have any thoughts to share with his friend and as their kiss was slowly deepened, the brunette could feel his legs elevating as if this connection between them had caused invisible wings to decorate the back of his body.

_'Is this... love?'_

Tsuna wondered dazed, his hands being wrapped around Gokudera's neck and hopelessly trying to tiptoe to his friend's height.

Even though the younger boy would never have guessed this turn of events, he ought to confess that no guilts or qualms could reach him at that moment. As if he was truly flying away from his worries, Gokudera's tongue invading his mouth offered him a feeling so sweet and perfect that everything that existed around them seemed to he gone. The school's building, the students chattering and even the sun's burning rays; all of them had disappeared, leaving the two boys alone and enamoured. No sound and no consequence could bother their ears and minds and since their eyelids had been shut by this overpowering sensation, not even the sky's mere existence seemed realistic to them... It was just like everything but this kiss was artificial... For a moment they even questioned their own existence.

_'How ironic...'_

Tsuna thought dazed while kissing deeply the other.

_'I managed to figure my own feelings only after I learned about his...'_

He reckoned amused for his foolishness and pulled Gokudera even more into his face.

_'I'm sorry for neglecting you for so long...'_

The Sky Guardian deemed regretful but was soon and for one more time overtaken by the magic that emerged between them.

One kiss followed another and when there was no more power and oxygen left to continue, the two boys just stared into each other's eyes while being warmly embraced by their emotions. There were actually many things they both wanted to spell to each other but it all seemed impossible as their bodies had spoken more of what their lips could ever say.

The Vongola boss was startled when he heard the bell ringing for the second time and even though he knew they had just missed their first lesson, anxiety and agitation were absent from his being. How quickly time had passed was quite surprising but as if he had tasted the sweetest drug, the more he stayed with his Guardian, the more he was addicted to this sensation, not minding the rapid pass of time.

On the other hand, the smoke bomber's emotions had been pilled up for so long that each second with Tsuna felt like reliving the most meaningful moments of his life; each minute being more pleasurable and crucial than the next one, transforming this drug the brunette tasted for the first time into Gokudera's needed energy for his heart to continue beating...

...

It was the 14th of February when the two lovers finally opened up to each other and in fact, the special celebration of that day had nothing to do with their emotions' outburst. As if the red string that connected their bodies had become so thin and tiny that was about to be toren apart, the Japanese students automatically reacted in order to keep this string alive and their pure hearts intact; their sweet romantic encouncter and a new beginning for both of them being the result of this unexpected incident.

It was also the 14th of February when Gokudera was able no more to express his feelings and emotions into that inanimate book of his that had kept him company for so long. The Storm Guardian felt foolish whenever his hand was about to write down said things and instead, he quietly opened his mouth and let the brunette walk to the deepest corners of his heart and soul...

And the deeper Tsuna was falling, the more things he found to love about him...

* * *

**A/N: The end. :I**

**There will be no sequel, do not plead or I'll go crazy! ;.;  
**

**I hope you liked it! ^O^  
**


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